How do we deal with people as people and not as steppingstones? How can we flow in relationships without creating a platform of realness? How can unity become the norm and not the exception? I think people want connection more than anything else, but how do we get it? Selfishness and deception are becoming the bedrock of society. The church is not exempt from these kinds of ploys. The world is litered with fractured relationships. How can we heal those relationships. More importantly, how can we move forward and develop a culture of connection. Maybe we can stop operating from the premise of what we do and how we do it, to why we do it. This may bring about a honesty dialog that can bring connection. I don’t have the answers. But I do know the answer is out there. So lets go on this journey together to restore relationships through the process of connection. We may be surprise at the end.
Sitting here thinking about the planning of a mens conference. I got upset and discouraged. Because I’m tired of the traditional conference were men come and get lectured without any feedback. We get charged up for one day or how many day it is, then go back the same way we came in. Because somewhere in the midst of the excitement and reality is the fact that what I was encouraged and charged to do I had no power to complete the task. Then I’m thinking this isn’t anything new. I know this and I have been trying to change but with minimal success. Oh yea, I forgot to tell you that I’m just thinking out loud. This is no way an indicment on mens conferences. I’m just writing down my thoughts. Anyway, maybe we are looking at this all wrong. Maybe its not the behavior we should be dealing with. Could it be the mindset? Could it be our thinking that is causing our behavior? I think the answer in becoming a better man is in the questions and not the answers. WHAT WAS IN THE MIND OF GOD WHEN HE DECIDED TO MAKE MAN? What was going on during this time? What was He thinking about? What was He looking at? What was He feeling? If you can find the answers to those questions, then I believe you will be on the road to becoming a better man. Do I have the answer? I believe I do, but I will let you find it for yourself.
Here I go again thinking out loud. Lets talking about the business of forgiving and forgetting or maybe I forgive you but I won’t forget it. I know, I know, you expect me to forgive you and forget it ever happen, Right? I would love to do that. Really I would. But one question. What do I do with the pain that comes with remembering it? What? You’re saying God forgives you and He says not only have I forgiven you, but I will not remember it either. Well I will tell you very frankly, I’m not God! So then what do you do? How do you handle forgiveness? I don’t have all the answers. Like I said, Im thinking out loud. Maybe our definition of forgetting is or should be different from how God forgets. Since God through Jesus paid an awesome price to forgive us (gave his life). Let me suggest we let Him help us work and walk through this. Because the problem maybe isn’t the forgiving thats an issue. It could be the pain that comes with the remembering that is really causing the most damage. Ok, so maybe we can stop trying to forget the behavior or the person that has hurt us. Maybe we can ask the Lord to remove the pain that comes with remembering. So that when I look at the person or working through relational issues with the person I have forgiven, I may remember what you have done, but there is no pain associated with it. This will allow us to move forward in a positive light and repair the damage that has been done. So could our prayer be “Lord remove the pain that comes with remembering so that our relationship can heal by your power and not by my willpower to forget. I don’t know. Just thinking out loud. But I do know this God is able to do an inside work without assitance for us. Because this is an internal matter that only He can correct. Since He is the EXPERT!!!!
Today, I’m just thinking out loud. Here goes. I wonder if we really want feedback? I wonder if we really want someone’s honest opinion? Or do we just want someone to tell us what we want to hear. How can I get better? How can I improve? How can I move forward and pursue with excellence without honest feedback? Are surveys and questionaires a wasted of time? My boss when I was working in the secular world once told me if I wanted to improve customer satification, I can’t be scare of the naked truth. Yes, it will hurt, and you want to choke the living daylights out of them, but take it, learn from it and improve the business. Great advice! But today, I don’t know! Are we surrounding ourselves with a bunch of yes people? Have we created a culture that doesn’t allow for honest communication? You can’t tell me I have lost my mind when its necessary? Will you let me fall off a cliff without one word? Just thinking out loud. There are many ways to improve an organization, a ministry, a business and life. However, there are two sure ways to do that.
1. Mistakes, then learn from them
2. Receiving honest naked feedback
Well thats my thoughts for the day. Oh, if you don’t want to improve or be better at want you are doing. If you just want to remain the same, then stop asking for feedback and what do you think and give me your thoughts and oh the dreaded surveys and questionnaires. But if you want to grow, grit your teeth and receive one of the greatest gifts anybody can give you, HONEST FEEDBACK!
Have we created more problems than we should have in our methods of correcting leaders who have made mistakes? Have we damaged more people than helped them based on a model of correction? Where did this model or method come from? Is it spiritual? Is it Biblical? I have seen and heard of people and ministries that have being destroyed by the model and methods of correction. Have we damaged the witness for Christ under the mode of correction? Have we created a graveyard for broken vessels who were destroyed by the method of correction that has become a standard? Jesus encountered a situation that needed correcting, were a leader who went of the reservation needed correction. John The Baptist, who knew Jesus better than anyone now because of his situation(thrown in jail) doubted Jesus. And he sent his disciple to question Jesus. Jesus could have exposed John and destroy everything that John was attached to, including John himself. Jesus looking at the whole picture and understanding future fallout (John’s disciple would be hard to win) if He choose to exposed John’s humanity. So Jesus gave two answers to there question. One, he said, tell John what you have seen and heard (blind can see, lame can walk, etc). Then gave John a corrective message that only John knew what it meant. He said, “blessed are they that are not offended by me”. Jesus corrected John privately. Then he went out a praised John publicly. Jesus understood far-reaching ramifications of exposing John’s humanity. (what happen when Paul met some of John’s disciples?). Jesus gave us the model, maybe we can try it.